and I have thoughts.
The Good:
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| Jennifer Lawrence |
Oh my god I died. First, she announced that she was starving to Ryan Seacrest. A woman after my own heart. Then, she fell going up to accept her award and Bradley Cooper went to help her and it was like Cinderella and she draped diamonds down her back which pointed to her very real and very womanly butt and everything in me clapped and sang.
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| Charlize Theron |
This is the best "Got Milk" ad of all time. Also, hair.
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| Jessica Chastain |
THANK GOD. I was so worried she was going to go wacky. But I really love it. She is wearing a Spanx colored dress and selling the hell out of it..
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| Naomi Watts |
I still haven't seen The Impossible, but if it is like this dress, I will love it.
The Not Quite:
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| Reese Witherspoon |
I thought this looked better moving than in pictures. It's just kind of weird. Like they ran out of fabric so they duck taped her dress to her chest. It also makes her look much hippier than she is.
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| Jennifer Garner |
So cute from the front. But when my friends and I were watching the red carpet and they showed the back shot I literally yelled "GUYS SHE FARTED A LOOFA."
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| Kelly Osbourne |
She has had such a great black dress run that I really wanted her to hit it out of the park. But here I sit, eating a hot dog instead and watching my Instagram instead of the game.
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| Amy Adams |
1. This is too young for her. 2. It is not the right color for her. 3. It is too much dress for her. 4. It is still pretty.
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| Giuliana Rancic |
This is my favorite of everything she's worn this season, but still. I really can't move past the skinny thing. She's a beautiful woman who has been through a lot and she deserves to take better care of herself.
The Ugly:
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| Amanda Seyfried |
This is McQueen and it is cool in theory, but if you saw her in interviews her back was like BULGING over the top of that dress- and she is tiny. Like both her thighs together equals half of one of mine. Just because you can squeeze into does not mean it is the right size. Also, ew matching eye shadow to dress.
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| Zoe Saldana |
This dress is the rejected stepsister of her 2010 Oscars dress.
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| Kristen Asshole Stewart |
YOU ARE NOT TALENTED AND DON'T DESERVE TO STAND IN FRONT OF PEOPLE LIKE MERYL STREEP AND TONY KUSHNER AND QUENTIN TARANTINO AND PRETEND YOU'RE TOO COOL. I'm sorry, I really hate her. And her dress looks like mold. She is a fungus.
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| Melissa McCarthy |
Lord knows my Nashville heart loves some big hair. But honey, no. For future guidance, Octavia Spencer.
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| Salma Hayek |
The off brand Latina Barbie doll I never had. Complete with fixed joints.
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| Anne Hathaway |
I am happy she won. But I am so sad it was in this. It needs a wrist corsage. It is Julia Stiles in a 90's movie that isn't Ten Things I Hate About You. It is straight to dvd. It is strip mall. It is a Claire's choker. It is a lot of exaggerated nipple. I am sad.
Also, here's a great rundown of Oscar hits and misses. (via The Cut)
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